The GAY Issue: Q&A's From the Past

I've been out of the closet for almost a year, sexuality wise, and for a couple of months gender wise.

Naturally, due to the conservative nature of the town in which I live, I've gotten a few probing questions from my peers.

In all honesty, I don't mind questions, but, that doesn't mean I can't laugh at the funnier ones.

Let's get started.

This first one happened very soon after I came out. I was attending a missionary farewell for a friend after I hadn't attended church for a couple of months, and I was chatting with a school friend of mine, who was also in attendance. The conversation went as follows:

Friend: "So...I've heard some rumors about you..."

Me: *mentally runs through every objectionable thing I'd ever done up to that point* "Uh...about what?"

Friend: *moves in closer and whispers in my direction* "...I heard you're...bisexual..." *makes face*

Me: *wrinkles face and eyebrows* "Well, yes, that's right...I started coming out a couple of months ago..."

(At this point in the conversation, I was slightly miffed and more than a bit apprehensive)

Friend: "Oh! Well!" *moves away and starts looking me up and down*

Me: "...What the frickle frackle are you doing??"

Friend: "Well, you just...you don't look, well...butch!"

Me: "...I must have missed the metamorphic phase of catching the gay, I suppose."

But, seriously, do people not believe in lipstick lesbians? (I've since cut my hair in an androgynous style and begun wearing vests, but, my point still stands. They're definitely out there.)

This second tale involves my mother. Ever since the beginning of my coming out of everything, my mom's been ridiculously supportive. However, towards the beginning, she had some misconceptions about the whole 'my daughter's mostly gay' thing.

(Context: I talk a lot about my friends when I'm at home. One particular friend, whom I will refer to as W, gets brought up a lot, simply because we both spend a lot of time together and happen to do a lot of stupid things around each other. He also happens to be gay as hell.)

Me: "So, W and I were talking to (theatre teacher)..."

Mom: "You sure do talk about W a lot..." *pause* "Do you have a crush on him?"

Me: "...No..." *pauses* "But, even if I did, it wouldn't make much difference in our relationship."

Mom: "Why?"

Me: "...Ma, he's hecka gay."

Mom: "...Well, so are you...doesn't that mean you have a chance?"

Me: "Mom, I don't think you understand how being gay works..."

God bless my mother. She now understands how being gay works. Bless.
This third story isn't exactly a Q&A retelling, but more of an "oops I totally forgot to come out to you before but ta-da?" kind of deal.

(Context: I had just been 'asked' to the girl's pref Winter Ball dance by a close female friend [and, by 'asked,' I mean that she literally said, "HEY, YESI, WANNA GO AND HAVE A GAY TIME AT WINTER BALL WITH ME" at lunch, and I said "HELL YES." I was recounting this story to another friend during our last class of the day.)

Me: "So, I got a date to Winter Ball!"

Friend: "Oh, cool! Who'd you ask?"

Me: "Oh, no, my friend B. asked me."

Friend: *pause* "Female friend, B??"

Me: *internally* "Whoops."

I need to start making a checklist of who knows I'm gay to save myself from these awkward situations.

That, or just hijack the school's PA system and just say something along the lines of, "Yada, yada, Yesi likes girls more than guys, yada, yada, continue on with life, please and thank you."

Because, seriously, having to come out to people over and over again just gets annoying.

There are so many other stories, like how I awkwardly came out to my choir teacher, and the many, many times I have been asked if I want a penis due to my sexuality (my gender identity has WAY more to do with that, anyhow), but I feel like these three are good for now.

Also, my AP homeworks are calling my name desperately, and I also need to rehearse Chamber music (wahoo.).


Next post...will be a surprise since I have no idea what I want to do with it. Have fun speculating.