As many know, I am Ex-Mormon. I stopped attending church almost exactly a year ago, which is odd to think about, and I've never been happier.
However, I also live in Utah, which has made the leaving thing a bit more complicated. After all, at the point of my initial disaffection, about 85-90% of my friends were (presumably) active, I held a calling in my ward, and I was enrolled in seminary.
So, basically, I was terrified. I was terrified of losing friends, losing respect from my neighbors, having to survive an hour and a half of seminary everyday...and the list goes on.
In all honesty, though, my leaving didn't change very much. I lost contact with a few friends with whom I really only had church in common, my neighbors continue to not talk to me (I don't venture out much...), and I got an entire period of homework and Temple Run time. Well, it was an entire period of homework and Temple Run time, but with a few homophobic, racist, sexist, and generally unpleasant comments shot around by my peers and teacher alike.
But, I digress. I ditched most of that semester's classes anyways.
No, the real challenge came when it came to interacting with Mormons as an ExMo. I mean, without coming off as a bitter and generally unpleasant asshole.
I know, I know, live and let live is a thing, I thought. Yeah, yeah, I should still follow the Golden Rule, I conceded.
But, goshdangit, I was angry! I felt so lied to and so cheated of years of happiness! I could have spent my early adolescent years doing things besides hating myself for liking girls and having a sex drive. I could have spent Sundays doing homework instead of sitting through lessons about how showing my shoulders was evil and would lead the poor, innocent boys into lives of depraved and uncontrollable sexual desire.
I was pissed. I was pissed at the church, I was pissed at my parents, I was pissed at my friends...
Yeah, I was an asshole. Or, at least, a bigger asshole than I am now.
And, I really do regret that. I really do regret trying to convince people that I was right, and that they were wrong. It's a waste of time and energy, and it's just as disrespectful as anyone trying to push opinions. Like a wise friend of mine once said, "Opinions are like butts; you shouldn't expose them unless invited, and only when the mood is right."
Now, my general creed is to live and let live. Maybe it's just because I'm lazy rather than a truly benevolent being, but I just don't see the point in being against the world. Besides, I feel like I can contribute more to the world by letting people live their lives in hopes that they will let me live mine.
So there you go. I don't actually know how to be a decent, human Ex-Mormon. I'm a junior in high school who doesn't even know what time they'll be getting up tomorrow morning, for God's sake. But, I'll be damned if I'm not going to give it a shot by trying to be nice to people. What else is there to do, anyways?
Tune in next time to hear my favorite questions from people concerning my sexuality and gender. Because, why not? You might think I'm funny. (Also, feel free to shoot me requests or whatever for posts. I have nothing to do.)
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